Well, here I am again. I find myself thinking that is a good and a dangerous outlet for my thoughts to spew forth into the wide world. Good because its easy and works at the touch of a button. Bad because I have no censure until after someone has read what I type. Things placed in "ink" are not easily erased. Which brings me to my question of the day: should we apologize about something to someone we hurt inadvertently? I mean if we did or said something that we stand by and believe to be the truth but the results were not what we planned and someone was hurt? Whether or not it was our problem or the other persons (and I've usually found that very few problems are one sided!) Do we apologize? Here is my conclusion for myself. I think I do. I think I must. Our intents are often very far from what our human minds and bodies can achieve. We intend to speak the truth in love. Love gets left behind. We intend to give a handshake and we crush a finger. (Okay that almost made sense) :) From a quick search of forgiveness in the word this morning I could find nothing on apologizing but much on confession. They appear to be almost synonymous. And if you think about it, what is an apology but a confession? "I did such and such and it was wrong. I'm sorry, please forgive me." The humility evident in such faithful men as David and the Apostles shines through the clearest when they are confessing their shortcomings and when they are requesting forgiveness from God and/or the brethren. This humility has always been a symbol to me of spiritual maturity. I have said in my own life "I was right, its not fair. I shouldn't have to apologize if they took it the wrong way or too personally". But what is the cost of being "right" -if, indeed, I was- ? The cost is someone hurt because of me. A wound that has no chance to heal completely because forgiveness cannot be offered before an apology and here we come to the crux of the matter. If I don't ask forgiveness it cannot be granted. If I don't humble myself before God and any human being that has been wronged by me (intentionally or not) I cannot receive their forgiveness and folks, I want that healing!!!! I want the healing for them and I want it for myself! God's forgiveness is readily available. Time and time again I fail and what do I have to do? Humble myself and ask His forgiveness. Confess! Be forgiven! God gave His son so that He could wipe our sins away. Once we have accepted that gift of grace the first step is always ours. Confess, repent, humble thyself, He is faithful to forgive. Humans are not always so faithful but if we don't give them a chance by apologizing and we haven't taken the first step how can they take the next step and forgive? These are just my thoughts and they are not perfect and defects may readily occur. In fact, I know they will occur. I am not using this blog to try and "teach" or to "preach". Simply to express myself.
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and Just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
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3 comments:
hmm, let me add just one thing. I thinks sometimes God calls us to forgive someone whether or not they seek our forgiveness. Still I think your point is perfectly true. Real healing is so much better when it happens on both sides. Can you apologize just for hurt feelings without bringing into it who was right or wrong? I hope so becuase that seems to be the case here. Good for you for being humble, I just hope your transparentness is appreciated and not rejected.
Thanks Lenore! You know you are my only feedback on here so it was great you got involved. Yes, I think we can forgive even if that forgiveness is not sought out. The healing may not be as complete but Between you and God things will be right. :) I have been mulling over humbleness and forgiveness lately. I think you CAN apologize just for hurt feelings and that is really important.
One thing though....how do you know you have hurt someone unless they tell you. I mean...people take offense to the gospel (or even perhaps your call here to repentance) but I don't know that I would apologize for telling them the gospel? I guess it depends on the situation. But, I would say if what I said produces Godly sorrow in a person that brought them to repentance than I wouldn't apologize, rather I would rejoice with them for finding their way (though they might have been hurt in the process). I guess if somehow I gave the truth, but lost the love as you said here and God was convicting me that I didn't present it in the right way (AKA Moses not talking to the rock, but rather striking it 'cause he was mad) then yes, I would definitely apolgize for sure. I think in most situations we know when we are being self righteous or relaying a truth. I think we can tell by how we feel afterward. Happy to be right, or concerned and hoping for the person's best. :) Nice thoughts Natalie, thanks for sharing!
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